Hoarders and the "Only Episode" Law

Around Memorial Day, I found myself sucked in to a "Hoarders" marathon on the television. It was obviously like a train wreck, but my love for the human psyche had me hooked. I was amazed and appalled by the massive amounts of, well, crap (sometimes literally) that people had in their houses.

I think I was enamored because I know I have the potential to hoard. My dad is well known for going to the store and buying three of something because it might come in handy at some point. When I was in junior high school, I kept everything -- every note anyone had ever given me, every card, everything. After I realized this could create a major problem for my organizational obsession, I started throwing things away.

But watching "Hoarders" has made me think about items that I would consider acceptable to hoard versus items that should never, ever be hoarded. I present to you my lists:

Okay to Hoard

• toilet paper
• paper towels
• deodorant
• diapers
• paper plates
• ink pens
• batteries

For the Love of God and All Things Holy, Do Not Hoard

• living animals
• dead animals
• teeth
• perishable food items
• socks
  
• underwear that no longer fits
• toenails
• cats -- I know that the fall under one or two categories listed above, but I felt like they needed special recognition

So that day I had managed to randomly stumble upon "Hoarders." The only shows that I watch regularly are: The Office, Desperate Housewives, Big Brother, House and Parenthood. All other shows are shows that I may randomly find on TV when I'm bored. However, I have discovered what I will refer to as the Only Episode Law.

The Only Episode Law states that "a person who views a show randomly and then happens to view that same show again randomly on a different day and different time, will inevitably wind up watching the exact same SINGULAR episode of that show they have ever watched."

This happens to me all the time. How is it that we have over 200 channels and I end up watching the same five episodes of shows? In the last two weeks, this has happened to me at least three times. The worst part of the law is that "the viewer most likely has several shows left to watch in the DVR but still chooses to watch the one horrible episode instead."