I was amazed at myself when I realized that I woke up at 4:50 am this morning. It was completely accidental and was the direct result of a power outage and my own inability to understand the complex way in which I have set my clock to a certain wrong time so that I will wake up early. Anyway, I woke up early. The world was mine to conquer and all was well.
Except... I still ended up arriving to work two minutes late, and approximately two hours into my work day, I discovered I was wearing the wrong pants.
This morning I thought I was putting on regular length black pants, trouser socks and dress shoes. I noticed that my pants seemed short but I decided it was obviously static cling with my trouser socks. Then I went to the bathroom and clearly I was wearing gauchos. With trouser socks. And dress shoes. At least it's raining outside.
I tried to shimmy my breeches down a bit, converting them into low rise and slightly less gauchy, but this was ineffective as I have no butt to hold up said pants. Now I feel the need to announce my fashion faux pas to anyone who cares to listen. I like to be the one to beat you to the punch line.
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